A first dinner at a colleague's. Auntie Wang explains what is given and what is never given.
Xiaoyu
阿姨，第一次去同事家，送什么好？
Āyí, dìyī cì qù tóngshì jiā, sòng shénme hǎo ?
Auntie, going to a colleague's house for the first time, what should I take?
Auntie Wang
水果、茶叶都行，不用太贵。
Shuǐguǒ, cháyè dōu xíng, bù yòng tài guì.
Fruit or tea will do, nothing expensive.
Xiaoyu
我看见一个很好看的钟，送钟可以吗？
Wǒ kànjiàn yī gè hěn hǎokàn de zhōng, sòng zhōng kěyǐ ma ?
I saw a very handsome clock, would a clock be all right?
Auntie Wang
千万别。送钟的音不好，中国人都不送。
Qiānwàn bié. Sòng zhōng de yīn bù hǎo, zhōngguó rén dōu bù sòng.
Absolutely not. Giving a clock sounds wrong, no Chinese person gives one.
Xiaoyu
那伞呢？下雨天很有用。
Nà sǎn ne ? Xià yǔ tiān hěn yǒu yòng.
What about an umbrella? Useful on a rainy day.
Auntie Wang
伞也别送，意思差不多。
Sǎn yě bié sòng, yìsi chàbuduō.
No umbrella either, it is much the same story.
Chen Hao
送吃的最安全，谁都高兴。
Sòng chī de zuì ānquán, shéi dōu gāoxìng.
Something to eat is safest, it pleases everyone.
Xiaoyu
他们家有一个五岁的孩子。
Tāmen jiā yǒu yī gè wǔ suì de háizi.
They have a five-year-old child.
Auntie Wang
那就再带一点儿糖，孩子最喜欢。
Nà jiù zài dài yīdiǎnr táng, háizi zuì xǐhuan.
Then take some sweets as well, children love them.
Xiaoyu
我买一盒茶叶、一些水果，再加一包糖。
Wǒ mǎi yī hé cháyè, yīxiē shuǐguǒ, zài jiā yī bāo táng.
I will get a box of tea, some fruit, and a bag of sweets.
Auntie Wang
够了。东西不用多，人去了就好。
Gòu le. Dōngxi bù yòng duō, rén qù le jiù hǎo.
That is plenty. The amount does not matter, it is the visit that counts.
送钟 (sòng zhōng), to give a clock, is pronounced exactly like 送终 (sòng zhōng), to see someone to their death and keep vigil at their funeral. The homophony is complete, tones included, and that alone is enough to rule the object out of every possible present. A watch, 表, raises no such problem and is given all the time.
伞 (sǎn) and 散 (sàn), to part, to break up, differ only in tone. The nearness is enough: giving an umbrella to a couple or a friend amounts to wishing them a parting. You may lend one; you do not give one. The same reasoning rules out a pear cut in two, 分梨, which sounds like 分离.
千万 literally means ten million, and serves as an adverb of insistence before a prohibition or an instruction: 千万别忘了, whatever you do, do not forget; 千万小心, be very careful indeed. It is almost never used in an ordinary positive sentence, and never for counting.
