Auntie Wang is about to order a slimming product she saw online. Xiaoyu and Chen Hao show her what the advert does not say.
Auntie Wang
小雨，你帮我看看这个。广告上说三个月能瘦十公斤。
Xiǎoyǔ, nǐ bāng wǒ kànkan zhè gè. Guǎnggào shàng shuō sān gè yuè néng shòu shí gōngjīn.
Xiaoyu, have a look at this for me. The advert says you can lose ten kilos in three months.
Xiaoyu
王阿姨，您别信。这种话连医生都不敢说。
Wáng āyí, nín bié xìn. Zhè zhǒng huà lián yīshēng dōu bù gǎn shuō.
Auntie Wang, do not believe it. Even a doctor would not dare say a thing like that.
Auntie Wang
可是下面有好多人说有效果。
Kěshì xiàmian yǒu hǎo duō rén shuō yǒu xiàoguǒ.
But there are a great many people below saying it works.
Chen Hao
那些评论很多是买来的。一条几块钱。
Nàxiē pínglùn hěn duō shì mǎi lái de. Yī tiáo jǐ kuài qián.
A lot of those reviews are bought. A few yuan each.
Auntie Wang
还有这种事？
Hái yǒu zhè zhǒng shì ?
Does that sort of thing really go on?
Xiaoyu
而且您注意看，广告下面有一行小字：效果因人而异。
Érqiě nín zhùyì kàn, guǎnggào xiàmian yǒu yī xíng xiǎo zì : xiàoguǒ yīnrén'éryì.
And look closely, there is a line of small print under the advert: results vary from person to person.
Chen Hao
这几个字就是他们的后路。出了事，责任全在您身上。
Zhè jǐ gè zì jiùshì tāmen de hòulù. Chū le shì, zérèn quán zài nín shēnshang.
Those few words are their way out. If anything goes wrong, the responsibility is entirely yours.
Auntie Wang
那我怎么分辨？
Nà wǒ zěnme fēnbiàn ?
Then how do I tell the difference?
Xiaoyu
凡是说包瘦、没有副作用的，基本都有问题。
Fánshì shuō bāo shòu, méi yǒu fùzuòyòng de, jīběn dōu yǒu wèntí.
Anything that guarantees weight loss and no side effects is almost always suspect.
Zhang laoshi
法律上写得很清楚，保健食品不能宣传治疗作用。
Fǎlǜ shàng xiě de hěn qīngchu, bǎojiàn shípǐn bù néng xuānchuán zhìliáo zuòyòng.
The law is quite clear on it: a food supplement cannot claim a therapeutic effect.
Auntie Wang
既然有规定，怎么还这么多？
Jìrán yǒu guīdìng, zěnme hái zhème duō ?
If there is a rule, why are there still so many of them?
Zhang laoshi
罚得少，赚得多。不过您要是真买了，发票和截图留着，可以投诉。
Fá de shǎo, zhuàn de duō. Bùguò nín yàoshi zhēn mǎi le, fāpiào hé jiétú liú zhe, kěyǐ tóusù.
The fines are small and the profits large. That said, if you do buy, keep the invoice and the screenshots and you can make a complaint.
Auntie Wang
我还没付钱，幸好先问了你们。
Wǒ hái méi fù qián, xìnghǎo xiān wèn le nǐmen.
I have not paid yet, thank goodness I asked you first.
Xiaoyu
无论广告说得多好，都先问一句：谁替它负责？
Wúlùn guǎnggào shuō de duō hǎo, dōu xiān wèn yī jù : shéi tì tā fùzé ?
However well an advert speaks, always ask one question first: who answers for it?
凡是 opens a whole class: everything answering the description that follows gets the same treatment, announced by 都. The turn belongs to writing and to careful speech, where ordinary conversation would make do with 只要. It is useful whenever you state a general rule rather than a particular case.
It varies from person to person. The chengyu is perfectly neutral in itself, which is why it serves as the saving clause of every Chinese health advertisement: it promises nothing while cancelling nothing. Spotting it at the foot of an advert, in four tiny characters, is already to know what the rest is worth.
At the head of a verb, 包 means the seller stands behind the result: 包瘦, weight loss guaranteed; 包退, a refund guaranteed; 包会, you are guaranteed to learn. The word belongs to the market and the small advert, never to a contract, and it is exactly that mismatch that should raise the alarm.
