Every trip home brings Xiaoyu the same question. Auntie Wang asks it; Zhang laoshi points out what haste costs.
Auntie Wang
小雨，你今年三十多了吧？家里不着急？
Xiǎoyǔ, nǐ jīnnián sānshí duō le ba ? Jiālǐ bù zháojí ?
Xiaoyu, you are past thirty this year, are you not? Is your family not anxious?
Xiaoyu
急。每次回家，第一句话就是这个。
Jí. Měi cì huí jiā, dì yī jù huà jiùshì zhè gè.
They are. Every time I go home, it is the first thing I hear.
Auntie Wang
阿姨不是催你，就是随便问一句。
Āyí bùshì cuī nǐ, jiùshì suíbiàn wèn yī jù.
I am not pressing you, I am only asking in passing.
Xiaoyu
我知道。可是这句话我一年听两百遍。
Wǒ zhīdào. Kěshì zhè jù huà wǒ yī nián tīng liǎngbǎi biàn.
I know. But I hear that sentence two hundred times a year.
Chen Hao
我也一样。我妈说再不结婚，亲戚都笑话她。
Wǒ yě yīyàng. Wǒ mā shuō zài bù jiéhūn, qīnqi dōu xiàohuà tā.
Same here. My mother says if I do not marry soon the relatives will laugh at her.
Auntie Wang
说到底，老人怕的是自己走了，剩你一个人。
Shuō dàodǐ, lǎorén pà de shì zìjǐ zǒu le, shèng nǐ yī gè rén.
At bottom, what parents fear is going one day and leaving you on your own.
Xiaoyu
这我懂。可是为了让他们安心就随便找一个，反而更糟。
Zhè wǒ dǒng. Kěshì wèi le ràng tāmen ānxīn jiù suíbiàn zhǎo yī gè, fǎn'ér gèng zāo.
I understand that. But taking the first person who comes along to set their minds at rest would be worse.
Zhang laoshi
我女儿三十五才结婚，现在过得很好。
Wǒ nǚ'ér sānshí wǔ cái jiéhūn, xiànzài guò de hěn hǎo.
My daughter married at thirty-five, and she is very happy now.
Auntie Wang
那是您家。别人家的话不好听。
Nà shì nín jiā. Biéren jiā de huà bù hǎo tīng.
That is your family. What other families say is harder to hear.
Zhang laoshi
别人的话，三年就忘了；婚结错了，三十年都在。
Biéren de huà, sān nián jiù wàng le ; hūn jié cuò le, sānshí nián dōu zài.
What other people say is forgotten in three years; a marriage got wrong stays for thirty.
Chen Hao
张老师这句话我要记下来。
Zhāng lǎoshī zhè jù huà wǒ yào jì xiàlai.
That sentence of yours I am going to write down.
Xiaoyu
其实我不是不想结，是不想为了结而结。
Qíshí wǒ bùshì bù xiǎng jié, shì bù xiǎng wèi le jié ér jié.
In truth it is not that I do not want to marry, it is that I do not want to marry for the sake of marrying.
Auntie Wang
那你就跟你妈这么说。别躲着，你越躲她越急。
Nà nǐ jiù gēn nǐ mā zhème shuō. Bié duǒ zhe, nǐ yuè duǒ tā yuè jí.
Then tell your mother just that. Do not avoid her: the more you avoid her the more anxious she gets.
Xiaoyu
好，这次回家我好好跟她聊一次。
Hǎo, zhè cì huí jiā wǒ hǎohǎo gēn tā liáo yī cì.
All right. This time when I go home I will have a proper talk with her.
为了结而结: to marry for the sake of marrying. The construction repeats the same verb on either side of 而, and denounces an action that has become its own purpose. It is very productive: 为了写而写, to write for writing's sake; 为了改而改, to change for the sake of changing. English renders it with the same repetition, which is rare.
你越躲她越急: the more you avoid her, the more anxious she gets. Each 越 bears on a verb, and the subjects on either side may differ, as they do here. When the subject is the same, it is left out in the second half: 越说越快.
In the last analysis, at bottom. The phrase opens the sentence that brings a discussion back to its real cause, often after several exchanges. It is close to 其实, but 其实 corrects an appearance while 说到底 digs: one says "in fact", the other "when all is said and done".
