A classmate of Chen Hao's comes back after eight years abroad. The work was not the problem; what has changed in him is.
Chen Hao
我同学在国外待了八年，上个月回来了。
Wǒ tóngxué zài guówài dāi le bā nián, shàng gè yuè huílai le.
A classmate of mine spent eight years abroad, and he came back last month.
Xiaoyu
混得不好？
Hún de bù hǎo ?
Was he not doing well?
Chen Hao
不是。工作挺好的，就是父母年纪大了。
Bùshì. Gōngzuò tǐng hǎo de, jiùshì fùmǔ niánjì dà le.
Not at all. His job was very good, but his parents are getting on.
Auntie Wang
那是应该回。父母上了年纪，电话里听着都好，见了面才知道。
Nà shì yīnggāi huí. Fùmǔ shàng le niánjì, diànhuà lǐ tīng zhe dōu hǎo, jiàn le miàn cái zhīdào.
Then he was right to come back. When parents get on in years, everything sounds fine on the phone; you only find out face to face.
Chen Hao
回来以后反而不适应。他说出去的时候是一个样，回来全变了。
Huílai yǐhòu fǎn'ér bù shìyìng. Tā shuō chūqù de shíhou shì yī gè yàng, huílai quán biàn le.
Except that having come back he cannot settle. He says everything was one way when he left, and had all changed by the time he returned.
Zhang laoshi
八年。连付钱的方式都换了两轮。
Bā nián. Lián fù qián de fāngshì dōu huàn le liǎng lún.
Eight years. The way you pay for things alone has changed twice.
Xiaoyu
我表哥也是。他说最难的不是技术，是人跟人怎么打交道。
Wǒ biǎogē yě shì. Tā shuō zuì nán de bùshì jìshù, shì rén gēn rén zěnme dǎ jiāodào.
My cousin is the same. He says the hardest thing is not the technical side, it is how people deal with one another.
Chen Hao
他在国外习惯了把话说直，回来让人觉得不会做人。
Tā zài guówài xíguàn le bǎ huà shuō zhí, huílai ràng rén juéde bù huì zuò rén.
Abroad he had got used to speaking plainly, and back home people find him clumsy with others.
Auntie Wang
那就慢慢改呗。回了家，总得按家里的规矩来。
Nà jiù mànmàn gǎi bei. Huí le jiā, zǒng de àn jiālǐ de guīju lái.
Then let him change gradually. Back home, you follow the ways of the house.
Zhang laoshi
也不全是他该改。有些场合，直一点反而省事。
Yě bù quán shì tā gāi gǎi. Yǒu xiē chǎnghé, zhí yīdiǎn fǎn'ér xǐngshì.
It is not entirely for him to change. In some situations, being direct actually saves trouble.
Xiaoyu
工资呢？听说差不少。
Gōngzī ne ? Tīngshuō chā bù shǎo.
And the salary? I hear the gap is considerable.
Chen Hao
数字上是差，可房子是父母的，孩子上学也不愁。算总账不一定亏。
Shùzì shàng shì chā, kě fángzi shì fùmǔ de, háizi shàng xué yě bù chóu. Suàn zǒngzhàng bù yīdìng kuī.
On paper it is, but the flat is his parents' and school for the children does not worry him. Taken all together, he is not necessarily out of pocket.
Zhang laoshi
我见过两种人：一种回来找当年的位置，一种回来找今天的位置。后一种过得好。
Wǒ jiàn guò liǎng zhǒng rén : yī zhǒng huílai zhǎo dāngnián de wèizhi, yī zhǒng huílai zhǎo jīntiān de wèizhi. Hòu yī zhǒng guò de hǎo.
I have seen two sorts of people: those who come back looking for the place they had, and those who come back looking for the place there is today. The second sort do better.
Xiaoyu
说白了，别拿八年前的地图走今天的路。
Shuō bái le, bié ná bā nián qián de dìtú zǒu jīntiān de lù.
To put it plainly, do not walk today's road with an eight-year-old map.
Chen Hao
这句我转给他。不过他多半会说，你们又在讲道理。
Zhè jù wǒ zhuǎn gěi tā. Bùguò tā duō bàn huì shuō, nǐmen yòu zài jiǎng dàoli.
That one I will pass on to him. Though he will probably say we are lecturing him again.
混 first means to mingle, to pass one's time; 混得好 or 混得不好 is said of someone's success in life, with an offhandedness that belongs to talk between friends. Asking 混得不好 about a third party is direct without being insulting; you would not use it in front of the person concerned.
To know how to behave with others: to spare feelings, to make the expected gestures, not to say things too baldly. It is a highly prized quality, and its absence, 不会做人, is a common reproach. Zhang qualifies it in the following line, which is rarer.
To put it plainly, in short. The phrase opens the blunt restatement of something said so far with circumlocutions, and it almost always announces a short sentence. It is close to 说到底 met at level D, with a shade of frankness rather than of depth.
